It is Up to Us

As I sit down to pen this, I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to say. But i will try my best. I feel the need to share this is about our failure. All of us. Because we, as a society, have failed.

This evening, I came back home to read about an 10 year old girl who was raped inside her house in front of her family! What sort of a society and country do we live in if we cannot be assured safety inside our own homes! Up until today, we feared for our loved ones when they were out on the streets late, or in an auto alone. Do we now have to sit in our homes with cans of pepper spray?! How do I sell 'Incredible India' to others when I feel unsafe in my own country, my own home?

As I read about this; I felt rage, anger, hurt, disappointment, shock. And I've only read about this. I cannot even begin to imagine the plight of the victim and her loved ones. As we read about these things, I've often heard people wonder what kind of a society they will bring their children into. I was one of them. But today, it is the matter of our very chance to even survive long enough to bring our children into the world. At this point, those near and dear to me are probably touching wood and praying for my safety, but the truth is that is how simple it is. This could happen to any of us!

There's nothing new about what I'm saying. We have these fits of rage every time something happens. We have a candle march. We talk and we forget. Until the next one. But things don't change until someone gets the wheel moving. All of us are to blame for what our society has come to, and it is up to us to start repairing it.

Changes don't happen overnight, but they do begin with small steps. Earlier today, I narrated to a friend an incident about another friend from a regular patriarchal society who expressed regularly patriarchal views. Nothing 'harmful'. The usual about it being a woman's primary job to stay at home and rear children regardless of her career decisions. I chose not to delve into an argument about this simply because it is exhausting to constantly discuss, argue and explain. I'm sure I'm not the only one. But I have realized that these little exceptions we make to seemingly harmless statements are the fertilizers that keep the very roots of patriarchy alive and strong.

The way I see it, we need a two-part approach to better our society. On one hand, we need to raise a generation, and every generation thereafter with genuine and unconditional respect for all humans. Personally, my next generation still exists in the 'if and when' universe. What I will teach my children is about the future. If we want change, we must begin now, with this generation. Secondly, we need something more tangible to deal with the situation as is right now. 

Now it is time that psychologists and those in the mental health industry, those in the field of law, those working with public policy, those with knowledge about software and website design in creating awareness and mental healthcare support, spread awareness regarding the laws and basic rights, for stronger policies to be implemented, and helping the victims  for creating platforms to spread the awareness.

To victims of sexual abuse, know that you are not alone! What happened was not your fault. We live in a society that is oblivious and ignorant of your pain. Please tell people how best they help you! To everyone else, give your ideas on what more we can do and how we can do it. This is about building a safe society for all of us. It matters less now whether we start small or big. But it does matter that we start now.